May Talk with Teya AND a Lizard’s Guide to Life


Teya: Serious Advice

The Lizard: Satire (ridiculous humor)

DISCLAIMER: Some content in the article may be seen as offensive or inappropriate. The Lizard is in control of all his word choices in this column, some content will include hyperbole (extreme exaggeration). If you are offended in any way, please let us know and we will address it with the editors. You may email Teya at: [email protected] or Mrs. Morales [email protected] if you are not comfortable placing your complaints in the comments.


I think I have ADHD but I don’t know what to do about it

I think you should talk to your parents if you haven’t already. this is the best way to know for sure because you can visit a professional and talk to them about it. -Teya


Do you think ‘among us’ memes are funny?

uhhhh no -Teya

A M O G U S    – L


I like a girl, and I found out she likes me as well. We want to be in a relationship… but we’re going to different schools. HELP?!??!?

(t) if you have a phone ask for her number, if you dont you can always send each other letters. I was grounded for a while in the summer and me and my girlfriend (at the time) sent letters to each other. Long-distance isn’t always a bad thing, you can always set updates so you can see her too. – Teya


Well first, you gotta disable the amber alert system. Ask again once you’ve got that done.   – L


Why can I not stop eating? whenever I am bored or stressed, I instantly go and grab a snack… How do I cut down on this?

(t) I’m the same way, the way I cut down on eating,  is by eating foods that take time to eat, like sunflower seeds. Sunflower seeds keep my mouth occupied and they’re really good, another way you can cut down on snacking is chewing gum, you can’t eat if you’re chewing gum. As long as you keep your mouth occupied with better alternatives, you won’t eat as much – Teya


Leave a note on your snacks or pantry or whatever that reads: “Stop eating snacks so much, you rancid goat with a silly mustache.” Works for me.   – L 


She is a nice gest

what??? -Teya


bork   – L


what is the best Seattle sports team of all time Supersonics, Storm, Mariners, Sounders, or Kraken?

I don’t like sports, I would rather watch basketball or hockey, so whatever teams belong to those. -Teya


Sports bad. Me no like. Me angy.  – L


I’m moving so I can make new friends, but at the same time I like a guy and I don’t wanna move too far away from him.

stay in contact, if you have a phone ask for his number, and if not email is a good way to stay in contact too. – Teya

Kidnap him, then. just wait until the other person gets the system down.  – L